I often have colleagues reach out to inquire how I made the transition from IC to People Manager and if I had any tips or lessons I could share as they contemplate making a similar change.
Last month I celebrated 7 years at Facebook as a full-time employee. In honor of this milestone, I wrote out 7 things I wish someone would have told me before transitioning to the people management role.
Lesson 1: It is rewarding but sometimes lonely.
There are very few gratifying feelings that equate to giving someone the news of their promotion or seeing the elation of someone making their first major deal. It’s an incredibly rewarding feeling knowing that I played a small part in that success.
I quickly realized that sometimes leadership can be a lonely place. This is especially true if you inherit a team that you once considered peers. I realized that if I didn’t build up an inner circle of fellow leaders, I was going to fail quickly. Just because you’re a leader, doesn’t mean you don’t need support. I firmly believe that one of the best things you can do for your career is to ask for help.
Lesson 2: Refill your cup, but with intention.
2020 brought many lessons for me as it probably did for each of you. It was as if the trauma was compounding on top of itself. Supporting my team and colleagues through 2020 took a level of resilience and empathy that I didn’t even know I possessed. I learned that compassion fatigue is real. Your empathy meter can indeed run out, and this was something that was hard to accept about myself. I had to accept that I was pouring out of an empty cup at times.
We live in a society that praises achievements and efficiency with zero value towards peace and healing. Even though we know we need the latter, we continue to push for the former and neglect our essential human need to rest, reboot, and slow down. You must unapologetically take the time to refill your cup. An efficient leader is a well rested one.
Lesson 3: You have to listen, but deeply.
As an IC, you control your calendar. You control how you spend your time, but most importantly – you control how you accomplish things.
When you become a people manager, it’s not about how you would accomplish something. It’s about how your reports will do it. And it’s their relationship with accomplishing their goals that matters the most.
I quickly realized it was no longer about me, and I had to grieve my IC life. The best thing I can do as a manager, is to listen without judgement. Judgement is the antithesis of support. Instead of judgement, you need curiosity. And you need courage to ask the hard questions. Both are critical.
Lesson 4: You have to keep people accountable, but also give them hope.
I remember sitting down with a recruiting manager I greatly respected within the first week in my new role. She told me that my first job as a manager was to show care for your people – sound and expected. Then she told me something I couldn’t have predicted; your second job as a manager is to give them hope.
Hope.
You have a responsibility to help your team see that things can get better in times of adversity. Convince your reports that they can accomplish more than they ever thought possible. Give them hope in the sense that they can potentially reach a place where they no longer need your leadership.
Lesson 5: Authenticity can be uncomfortable, but it is also an undervalued strength.
If you are not honoring your reports’ intersectional identities, you might as well step aside. They are playing many roles while pursuing the goals you set out for them: parent, caretaker, spouse, partner, volunteer, just because the pandemic made the world stop, doesn’t mean the roles that they (and you) play did.
Your reports are also Black, Queer, Indigenous, Non-Binary, or Latinx. Show them that difference and otherness is their superpower. Leading openly means bringing your own identities and authenticity to the forefront of your leadership. I used to think discussing my personal identities was too vulnerable for the workplace. But once I realized vulnerability is a strength and began to bring my multiple identities to the forefront of my leadership – I was amazed at how open my reports began to be with me.
Lesson 6: You can take a moment to grieve, but then make plans.
“Make plans and anchor to things you can control.” I once asked a manager what the biggest lesson she had learned during her time at Facebook and this was her advice.
Her advice immediately reminded me of what Stacey Abrams once said when she lost her gubernatorial race in Georgia, “I sat shiva for 10 days, then I started planning.”
It’s OK to grieve when things don’t go your way. There have been times at Facebook where I didn’t meet a goal or was passed up on a promotion. I took time to grieve those losses, and had to give myself grace for taking that time.
As a leader, sometimes all you can do is control what you can and making plans is a large part of that. Whether it’s a blueprint to turn around your team’s progress to its goals, or a summit where you discuss your team’s mission and vision – make plans.
Lesson 7: It can be tough, but remind yourself you can do hard things.
I’ve learned that ultimately when I give to others, I give back to myself. Your reports will look to you for strength, but don’t be surprised when so much of your strength comes from theirs. The sharing of courage and strength between my reports and I are a part of my reason.
Through the tough times, you have to remind yourself that you stepped into the people management role for a reason. I often try to remind myself that leadership is a privilege.
It is also a choice.
Choosing the path of leadership will never be a smooth paved journey. But you made the decision for a purpose. It will be awkward, brave, beautiful, ugly, and bold. If you can embrace all of those things openly and fully, you are exactly where you need to be.
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Guest post by Vince Sison, Technical Recruiting Leader, Diversity + Inclusion @ Facebook, Inc.
Vince has worked within the technical recruiting space for nearly 10 years. His team is currently based across the United States with a focus on bringing underrepresented talent to Facebook. He has been a long-time champion of inclusion and belonging, along with building a positive company culture. He is a graduate of The Hudson Institute of Coaching in Santa Barbara, and an associate certified coach through the International Coaching Federation. He lives in West Seattle with his partner and is a proud dad to his pembroke welsh corgi.
Learn more about Vince and his work here.
