Best Practices for Communicating in Hard Work Situations

Re-posted from: https://www.azureleadership.com/news/2019/7/8/best-commnications-practices-in-hard-work-situations

Many of the challenges we face at work come from the difficulty we have communicating our ideas effectively and being heard effectively by others we work with.

In crisis communications as much as in strategy reviews and performance conversations, how you communicate is often as important as what you do.

At work, more than in most other contexts, making sure you’re on the same page and aligned with the same strategy, goals, and outcomes is super important. It’s critical to ensure you’re as successful and efficient as possible, but also so you find the meaning in work we all know motivates us to keep doing the work we do.

As I talk about in Honestly Speaking: How the Way We Communicate Transforms Leadership, Love, and Life, shifting slightly how you communicate when situations are challenging can transform how you lead and how you work.

But how do you make such a shift? During a crisis or when it’s unclear what the next step should be, how do you make sure you’re aligned, making smart decisions, and that people perceive you as being control and that you care? I’ve seen these strategies work across the board, from big tech companies to smaller nonprofits, because they have all realized the direct correlation between healthy communication and a successful business.

Some of the best practices I’ve seen include:

• Writing things out. Making writing things out a regular discipline is helpful in all kinds of ways. The author Flannery O’Connor famously said, “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” This is true for many of us. Giving yourself the space to write out a problem will give you the chance to work through any emotions surrounding it and get to the real root of what is wrong and how to fix it. This is why therapists encourage journaling: because getting things out of your head and onto paper is a great way to reflect in a safe, nonjudgmental fashion, and will likely make your communication with others about the issue more productive. When you put pen to paper, the ideas in your head become concrete. Building the discipline of putting your ideas onto paper can force clarity and alignment and help you zero in on areas of conflict or disagreement. In the law, there’s a saying that “the opinion writes itself”—which refers to the idea that, as they write opinions on complex issues, the conclusions of judges shift and evolve through the discipline of making the abstract concrete. Especially at work, if you’re struggling to agree on a particular issue or project, write it out. This makes sure everyone has a chance to react and get on, well, the same page.

• Focusing on process. When we are invested in our work, it’s only natural that we will take the results of our work personally. In some ways, this is great. We should all feel like the work we do matters and care deeply about our impact. But when conflicts arise, and they will, it’s easy to let those emotions cloud our ability to problem-solve. Often we become defensive or, when presented with negative feedback, look for a problem in the person delivering the feedback. When communicating about an issue, compartmentalize and segment. Identify what is going well, what isn’t, and how to fix those things. Identify and agree on the issues you’re talking about, and go one by one. There are tons of books about how to navigate feedback. One I especially like is Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.

• Agreeing to disagree. No matter how much we’d love to convince everyone to see things our way, sometimes they won’t. And that is okay. Being able to agree to disagree and then let the issue go is imperative to a healthy work environment. If an issue arises and you’re unable to move on, then you will need to go back to the all-important task of self-reflection. What is really bothering you? Are you simply bored or frustrated you haven’t gotten your way? Do you have a pattern of quitting a job in a rage every time things get hard? Know when to move on—and be careful to determine whether a sticking point is critical to moving forward in your job or just an argument you’re trying to win.

• Focusing on the bigger picture. It is really easy to get wrapped around the axle in situations where work is challenging. It can be tempting to make gossiping and venting a part of your day, no matter how unhealthy it is to the work culture. But the most successful teams don’t let this happen. They are self-aware enough to know that behind one problem at work, another one arises. At its core, your job is about problem-solving, and your career will hopefully be a long one. So focus on what matters: the relationships you’re building and the path you’re setting for yourself and your future.

• Responding quickly and directly. There’s usually a golden hour right after a crisis happens, especially in a social media environment. You should immediately ask yourself: “What would a reasonable person say here?” And then say it. This allows you to control the narrative and be seen as honest and empathetic. If you don’t know, say you don’t know. But leaving charges leveled against you or against others, or silence after something goes wrong, only allows others to develop stories about you, and it’s a lot harder to change people’s perceptions once they’re made. Balance not overreacting and not focusing too much on outrage. Being measured and thoughtful inspires confidence and empathy for your position.

• Speaking slowly. Especially if you’re in a role where speaking is a big part of your job or you must repeat the same thing often (like a teacher, a clerk, a nurse, or a server), it’s super important to discipline yourself to speak slowly so the audience hears you. You’ll likely have a tendency to speak quickly because you know the recipe or the instructions by heart. But most people you’re speaking to are just hearing it for the first time—and since it’s not about what you say but about how they hear what you say, it’s your job to make sure they are hearing you. Make it seem like you’re telling each person for the first time. Turn off the autopilot and engage directly with people.

This article is excerpted from Honestly Speaking: How the Way We Communicate Transforms Leadership, Love, and Life , available for purchase now.

This guest post written by author, Andrew Blotky. In Honestly Speaking, Andrew shares lessons and tools developed through his years in politics, the private sector and academia as a leader, teacher, coach, and friend. He’s developed new, relatable tools to help you speak honestly with everyone in your life, from the teams you lead to the people you love.