How can you take advantage of a fresh start this new year with a positive mindset, but without falling victim to goals and resolutions that are going to weigh you down?
As we kick off 2024, I’ve been thinking about what to say going into the new year that hasn’t been said before. What isn’t cliche? What can we talk about that is not about setting goals, avoiding goals, the difference between goals and resolutions, etc? Of course, we all really do want to address the fact that a new year is a natural time to make a fresh start, and that usually involves giving up behaviors that aren’t serving us as well as building some good new habits.
I’ve been thinking back on a coaching session I had years ago with my friend and executive coach Jan Gelman. It wasn’t a new year, but I was starting a new job so many of the same concepts applied. If you’ve ever been through a job transition you know it’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on what’s working and what could be going better, since most new hires are eager to show up as their best selves. Using a sheet of paper and a stack of Post-its, Jan guided me through a simple but effective exercise that mirrors how I’m using again to make the most of 2024.
Step 1: What do you want to take with you?
You’re going to start by asking yourself what you want to take with you from the prior year. This is so that you’re not even tempted to throw the baby out with the bath water. One problem with New Year’s resolutions is that we don’t spend any time acknowledging all the things we’re doing well, the things that are working for us and that we want to continue.
You probably know already that research shows the benefits of building on your strengths yet when we get into goal setting mode, human nature leads us to focus mostly on the negative. So step one is to think about the things you’re doing well – good habits, healthy behaviors, things you want to carry forward.
Write down each strength/positive attribute on a Post-it. Do this quickly and jot down whatever comes to mind – no self-censorship! Your list might include things that are working for you like:
- Time with family
- Clear boundaries
- Spend more time outside
- Focus
- Prioritization
Step 2: What do you want to leave behind?
Once that’s done you’re ready to start thinking about the things that no longer serve you. Those could be behaviors, habits, or outdated beliefs. If you’re overly self-critical or experience perfectionism, remember this is not a time to beat up on yourself. Exercise compassion as you think about things you’ve done that you want to leave in the past. Again, write each one on a Post-it.
I can’t speak for you, but these are examples I often hear from clients and colleagues:
- Talking vs. listening
- Micromanaging
- Not being vulnerable
- Ruminating
- Bringing work stress home
Step 3: Prioritize
You’ll notice I didn’t suggest how many items to put on your list. You may have three or thirty-three. Prioritization is key, and lack of prioritization will limit your progress. If you have ten top priorities, you don’t have priorities at all, you just have a long and unattainable to-do list. I don’t know who said “Your to-do list will always outlive you,” but you get the point.
While all of your ideas are worthwhile, it’s important that you choose the top few to make meaningful progress. Go through a selection process with each pile where you weed out half and half again until you have between three and five Post-its each under “take with me” and “leave behind.” Do this quickly and don’t overthink it.
Now fold a sheet of paper in half, and put the “take with me” list on the right and the “leave behind” list on the left. Add your Post-its and you’ve got your own path to a fresh start that’s right for you. These are not goals or resolutions because they’re intentionally not time-bound or measurable. They represent behaviors you aspire to and areas for continued growth.
Step 4: Keep it alive
At the end of the day, the approach that works is the one you use. This approach worked for me because I kept it close and referred to it often when I started that new role. The list you create now and pull out in nine months to see how you’re doing won’t help you move the needle. That’s why your list has to be short and compelling – it should only include things that truly matter and that you’re committed to.
Consider putting a quarterly reminder on your calendar, with a link to your list. You can use it as a self-assessment tool to help keep you focused and track progress. Sharing your goals with someone else is also incredibly powerful. If there’s a friend, colleague, coach, or mentor you trust, share your list with them and ask if they’ll act as an accountability partner.
Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by setting unattainably big or grandiose goals and commitments. Yes, the new year is a good time for a refresh. It’s also just a date on the calendar and will come again 365 days from now. Rather, use the idea of a new year and a fresh start as your inspiration to keep doing what’s working and tweak what’s not. Guaranteed you’ll find some success and wind up with things to celebrate if you take a positive approach and don’t ask too much of yourself.
