I’ve been thinking again about my favorite section of Flawless Consulting, recognizing common types of client resistance. We all have clients, whether internal or external, and resistance happens constantly. Let’s get better at recognizing it so we can handle it better. Disclaimer There’s very little original thought here, it’s mostly a recap with a few added examples.
Pressing for Solutions: Ever had a client who only wants to talk about solutions, and not spend any time on the problem? It’s healthier to engage the client in discussing problems, and get them buy-in to proposed solutions. Explain that this is the kind of partnership you’re looking for.
I’m Not Surprised: A fear of surprise is synonymous with a high desire for control. When you gather new information and the client acts like they have heard it all before, it can be deflating. They may be signaling that your work is unimportant or not unique. If you know you’ve done a good job, this says more about them than it does about you.
Time: There’s a pattern of busy-ness that gets in the way of starting a project, or shows up as constant interruptions when the two of you are meeting. The message is about how little time the client has for you. They may find it hard to tell you that they are really not interested in your proposal. Share the bad news for them by saying “It looks like you’re too busy to focus on this right now, let’s postpone until a better time.”
Flight into Health: The problem suddenly vanishes and the client is healthy. More likely, someone does not want to take the time to confront real problems in the business. Even if symptoms improve temporarily, root cause issues won’t go away until they’re identified and solved intentionally.
Confusion: Recognizing confusion as a form of resistance can be a life saver. When you know you’ve been clear, what you’re saying is not rocket science, and the client still doesn’t get it, something’s off. Our clients are intelligent, often brilliant. So if they’re not comprehending a straight forward concept or recommendation, it’s a red flag.
Moralizing: Key phrases are “should” and “those people” and “they need to understand.” The focus is on how things ought to be, rather than facing how things are. It puts the speaker in an elite position and suggests that if only others would change/do things right/just follow the rules, then everything would be ok.
Silence: A passive client engages very little, and lets you keep talking. Believing that silence equals agreement is a trap you don’t want to fall into. Beware of the silent client, because their reaction is being blocked. Try asking them if they did have reservations, what would they be? Anything to get a response.
Impracticality: “The client keeps reminding you that they live in the Realworld and are facing Realworld problems…” The implication is that consultants are impractical and academic. In some cases, this may be true. But if it doesn’t describe you, and the client can’t be convinced, that’s the resistance coming through.
Give Me More Detail: The client has an insatiable appetite for detail, and no matter how much you give it’s never enough. The requests are no longer rational and all your time is spent gathering and analyzing information. And more information. Hint: there’s no decision making taking place. A perfect question to ask is “How might this piece of information impact what you’re planning to do next?”
Flood You With Detail: The client shares an overwhelming amount of detail with you – it’s not pertinent, and may become boring or confusing. Try telling them that you don’t need all the background, and you want to make good use of both of your time. It’s ok, and in both of your interest, to interrupt and redirect the conversation.
Attack: Angry clients are the hardest for me personally. They may act outraged, or like disappointed parents. Remember that’s not professional and has no place in your relationship. Try controlling your fight or flight response by being curious and using immediacy. A statement like “I see you’re really angry” followed by silence gives the client time to regain what they want most – control.
Intellectualizing: Some people may choose to theorize and hypothesize rather than take action. It’s good to form theories, but not if it becomes a substitute for reacting and moving through a situation. This may be a defense mechanism that shows up when things are tense or the client finds himself in a difficult situation.
Compliance: Compliance is attractive, because it looks like agreement and respect. It’s rare that a client is sold on all your ideas, has no questions, and no reservations. Do all you can to draw out resistance in the planning stages so it’s out in the open before implementation.
Methodology: Most clients want to know your methodology, and they should. For example, if you’ve done a poll, survey or focus groups, should be ready to explain how people were selected, who participated, statistical validity, etc. When methodology questions last longer than 10 minutes, you’ve got problems. A client who doesn’t trust your methodology will never trust your findings.
All jobs and all relationships require influence, especially middle management. Do you and your team want to build your influencing skills? If so, contact us info@reverbpeople.com.
