When I Became a Manager I Wish I Knew… Crowdsourced

The role of the manager is key to how people experience work. Yet, nearly three-quarters of new managers don’t receive training. We did a little crowdsourcing to see what people wished they had learned before moving into management and the answers are golden. 

Personally, I moved from managing 1-2 people max to leading a team in India that grew from 9 to 25. There’s plenty I wish I knew, and I’m sure my direct reports would second that. In the spirit of vulnerability, here’s my own wish list: 

• It’s ok to ask people what they want and need. You don’t have to guess! Too often, managers think they should know what motivates people, their preferred communication style, and even their career aspirations. It’s so much simpler to ask your team these questions vs. trying to infer what everyone wants and needs. 
• It’s easy to fall victim to impossibly high standards. In companies with “unrealistically high expectations” managers can subscribe to that same philosophy; one of perfectionism. Excellence is more realistic, and excellence should be rewarded. I admit that I did a disservice to some truly high performers by expecting too much of them.  
• The difference between rubber balls and crystal balls. When everything is a top priority, you still need a way to decide what gets done and what can wait. Asking yourself which balls will bounce when you drop them and which will break helps with prioritization. Today, I keep a Future Goals List where I put everything I want to do but simply don’t have time for. 

A few months ago I asked my LinkedIn network about the thing they wish they had known before becoming managers. Here is what they said:

Julie Nyberg | Sr. People Ops Consultant, Reverb

1. It’s also ok as the manager to ask for what you need 
2. Be clear in your communication of expectations and what “done” on a project looks like 
3. Ask how they would like to have feedback when there is disagreement (this goes both ways).

Sidney James | Founder, Inyore

1. Active listening > talking
2. See rule number 1

I believe active listening is the most critical thing when managing people. As long as you’re doing that you can pick up everything else

James Pratt | Leadership Coach + Facilitator, Reverb

1. It’s no longer about you and your performance, it’s about your teams. What people want is support, growth, clarity and trust.
2. It’s OK – and rewarding – to let go of things you used to do.
3. There’s a better than even chance you’ll fail and be back to being an IC in 2 years, so enjoy the journey and don’t sweat it.

David Anderson | Founder, Scarlet Ink

Anecdotal or poorly worded “I sorta feel like…” feedback is better than avoiding feedback. Particularly for someone not doing well. I think too many managers hold back critical feedback because they’re looking for perfectly worded and data filled feedback. I don’t think anyone ever said “Oh god, my manager gives far too much feedback too regularly”.

Gary Ford | Sr. Facilitator, Reverb

I wish I had read the HBR article, Connect, Then Lead. It speaks to the fact the people leaders tend to lead with Competence when they should lead with Warmth. Show that you care for people first, that you’re on their side, then show that you have the skills to advocate for them and follow through on your commitments. Such a great read and excellent advice!

Anu Arora | Leadership Coach + Facilitator, Reverb

I distinctly remember the day I became a lead. I was so grateful. That night I went home at 8 pm. I felt I had to work even harder – both what I was doing so well and now that I was also responsible for the work of 5 other people. My advice for my younger self will be:

1. Go Home! Have a proper dinner. Self-compassion first!
2. Get rid of the monkeys on your back. Create space for the NEW. It is not THIS AND THAT (WHAT WAS). It is just THIS.
3. Observe and reflect more. There is TIME. Instead of the relentless action mode I was in, what did stepping back and looking at what my team’s purpose was and what will make them most productive and happy? Looking back, there was time for the pauses. I just forgot to breathe.
4. That the disagreements are OK! Being comfortable with conflict and have tools for it.

Megan Grimes | Sr. HR Business Partner, Premera Blue Cross

You don’t have to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with imperfections.

Amy Funkhouser Watkins | Leadership Coach + Facilitator, Reverb

It’s ok to be human and ask for help

Suzanne Weller | Leadership Coach, Weller Collaboration

A HUGE aha moment for me: Not everyone likes to be managed the same way… individual needs are different and you need to tailor your style and meet people where they are in order to support them in doing their best work.

Michael Free McGlothlin | Owner + Founder + Developer, Kavlon Technologies

That, like most roles, nobody notices when you do a good job but everybody notices when you do a bad job.

Leang Chung | Founder + CEO, Pelora Stack

1. Your team can and WANTS to help. All you need to do is ask.
2. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers. And that’s ok to say out loud. It shows humility, authenticity, and strength.
3. 🏆 It’s easy to fall victim to impossibly high standards.

Sara Fenn | Founder + Coach, Empwr.me

Be really thoughtful and intentional with how you transition from being a peer to a manager. I really missed this part and it hurt.

Build breaks in your day so you can slow down and engage with the team informally, meaningfully, not just a hi as you are running between meetings.

It’s ok to talk to the team about what they want/need what isn’t going well, and what they want to stay the same. Be transparent with what is in your control and not in your control. Make improvements where you can and advocate where you can’t.

Have a discussion with the team about all the work on everyone’s plate, what you will do, where you need to delegate – and ask what they want to do for their own stretch. Said in another way, don’t try and do it all.

Brea Starmer | Founder/President, Lions + Tigers

The concept of allowing space for others has really resonated with me the past couple of years.

Xiao Wang | CEO + Co-Founder, Boundless

Wow, so many. Here’s the top 3 I could tell first-time manager me:

1. The way to be a better manager is not to minimize micromanaging—it’s to know when to step in and when to step back
2. Just because you don’t bring a point up it doesn’t mean the point will never be brought up. Amazing things happen when you stay quiet in meetings.
3. You don’t need to be friends with your team

This year Reverb launched our first On Demand management course: Management Training 101: Practical Skills for Developing People Leaders. Through practical, hands-on training learners work through topics like goal setting, delegation, and how to have candid conversations. These skills will make your managers more confident, happier, and more successful as they take on their new role as people leaders. Do you have more than one new manager who needs training? They can join together and even share what they learn in our moderated monthly Community Chats.  

Don’t let your managers have a wishlist of things they regret not knowing before stepping into the position. Check out our On Demand course Management Training 101: Practical Skills for Great People Leaders for a free preview and enroll today!

Interested in bringing Management Training 101 to your company or enrolling a group of managers? We offer tiered bulk pricing and encourage companies to enroll as many managers as they see fit at a time, whether that is 2 or 2,000. We’ve already done the heavy lifting with it comes to creating well-rounded and practical management training. Why reinvent the wheel?

Email info@reverbpeople.com or register for our upcoming Ask Me Anything Webinar on November 4th to ask questions about the course live (register here).