Why you should let go of work-life balance

Your alarm clock goes off. You reach for your iPhone to check your email. Your mind races with thoughts of everything you have to do. (The mind racing started before the alarm clock went off.)

You bound out of bed and realize there’s no way you’ll get that run –– or anything else resembling exercise –– in this morning. You promise yourself you’ll work out this afternoon.

You hop in the shower, throw on some clothes, kiss your partner goodbye. You grab a bagel –– “You really need to cut back on carbs,” says the judgy voice in your head –– and speed to the office.

As you settle in at your desk, you realize that you forgot to bring lunch (again). You’ll run out later to get something –– maybe at the deli or Chinese food truck down the street.

The day speeds by. You’re so busy and stressed out that you forget to eat. You drink three cups of coffee and eat at least five –– ten? –– pieces of candy from the candy jar on your co-worker’s desk to make it through the hours.

You leave the office later than you planned (so much for exercise), starved and wondering what the hell you’ll make for dinner. You get home, chow down on last night’s pizza, crawl into bed with your iPhone to check any last emails from the office, and finally doze off.

Work-life balance? Right!

I’ll let you in on a secret: Work-life balance doesn’t exist.

The more we put artificial walls between work and life, the less able we are to “balance” the two.

I propose a reframe: Work-life integration.

More and more employers see the benefit of allowing employees to integrate the personal and professional. According to a 2013 study from management consulting firm Accenture, “Companies that can help their employees navigate both their professional and personal lives are likely to see strong employee engagement and enjoy an advantage as they recruit and retain high performers.”

So how can you help employees (and yourself!) integrate personal and professional lives? Encourage them to try these simple mindset shifts.

Ditch the work to-do list and the personal to-do list. You deserve a YOU to-do list –– for the whole you.

Prioritize your list as if there’s no separation between work and personal. There isn’t. It’s YOUR LIFE.

If you have a moment of inspiration for a personal project while you’re at the office, let it flow. Putting a stopper in it because “you shouldn’t be thinking about personal stuff at work” means a) it might not come back and b) you’re distracted by it, making you useless to your employer anyway. (I’m a HUGE fan of Evernote for capturing such moments of inspiration when they strike.)

Start a running or walking club at the office. Who says you can’t all take a spin around the lake after lunch? If your boss questions how letting you get some exercise in the middle of the work day helps the bottom line, show her this article  in the Harvard Business Review, ‘Regular Exercise Is Part of Your Job.’

Try a service like NatureBox to get healthy snacks delivered to your desk. Or team up with some co-workers to  make your own and share with the team. Fueling mind and body with healthy food is part of your job too!

As soon as you let go of the illusion that work and home are alternate realities, you’ll prioritize the things that matter.

Instead of getting work done first and feeling cranky that your personal priorities never happen, you’ll focus on the things that allow you to work less and get more done. (Tim Ferriss is a master at productivity hacking. Check out his now classic book, The Four Hour Workweek, for his slightly crazy but effective ideas.)

I get it. This one’s tough. We’re so used to separation of church and state –– work and home –– that we lose sight of the big picture.

And I’m not suggesting that we let our iPhone invade our Sunday night dinners or novel reading on the beach.

But bringing the personal into our work –– without guilt –– honors the truth of our being people first, workers second. (Which is still true, even if you’re in love with your work).

It took me a LONG time –– and a move away from hyper-achievement-oriented NYC + the ultimate work-life balancing act of running my own business –– to understand that integration was the goal.

Bruce Lee famously said “Be the water.”

Be Water My Friend! Bruce Lee Remix from Paul Peng on Vimeo.

“Water can flow. Or it can crash.”

Bruce was talking about mastering martial arts, but I like the analogy for work-life integration.

Stop trying to compartmentalize. Let your life flow together instead of crashing up against imaginary walls. It works better that way.

And it’s way less stressful than imposing false boundaries on your fluid life.

Article Written By Lara Dalch 

Lara Dalch is a Seattle-based personal development and lifestyle coach to “women on the rise” who want more out of work, life, and body. With clients nationwide, Lara helps women executives and business owners bring the focus back to mind and body to form new habits that allow them to reclaim their health, happiness, and power – so they can make lasting changes and achieve their big dreams, in business and in life.

Lara is a contributor to health and wellness website MindBodyGreen and has been featured by Refinery29, Town & Country, Elephant Journal, the University of Virginia, and the University of California, Berkeley. She holds a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Virginia, is a Certified Pilates Instructor and received her training to practice health coaching via the State University of New York and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

Listen and subscribe to Lara’s Women on the Rise podcast.  Join Lara’s free online workshop series.