How do you handle the less fun aspects of being a manager, like intervening when people are experiencing conflict? It’s not fun, but you know that if you don’t address it things will only get worse.
Conflict can arise from something as common as creative differences, or at the other extreme when people aren’t treating others with respect. Whatever the cause, conflict between colleagues should be addressed promptly before it spirals out of control affecting other team members. But how do you tackle it? Here are some tried-and-true tips for success:
Don’t Take Sides, Be Curious
It may be true that certain employees seem more prone to conflict, but before you assume one person is to blame or dismiss the issue,, examine all sides of the problem with an objective lens. It’s not always true that there are two sides to every story—in fact, there are more often three or four. Playing favorites isn’t fair to those involved and over time will erode your team’s trust in you.
Have a Plan
Leaders may want to jump in immediately to diffuse a bad situation, but their pre-emptive actions can actually make problems worse. Before you approach a conflict, get all the facts and explore possible solutions. Consult with your HR department if there are legal issues to consider. Brainstorm solutions that will allow the team to learn from their mistakes and emerge stronger.
Be a Good Listener
It should go without saying, but never enter a collaborative conflict meeting and do all the talking. As the leader, and ultimately the one who will decide on the next steps, you need to make those involved feel heard. Let them walk you through exactly what has been going on, their experience, and their suggestions, even if you’ve witnessed some of the behavior yourself. Hearing both perspectives will show that you respect them. Communicate the next steps if the conflict can’t be resolved in one session – maybe you need to meet again or bring in a third party to mediate. The main goal is that everyone is on the same page and making progress to reach a resolution.
Remove Fear
If your team members are walking on eggshells, step back and see what’s happening between them or in the organization that’s making them feel they can’t be open about what’s bothering them. . Employees who live in fear of their leaders operate in a state of stress, which can lead to lower productivity, defensiveness, and absenteeism because it makes them mentally (and sometimes physically) unwell. Take an empathetic approach as a way to get at the heart of the problem. Is there something happening in the employee’s personal life that could be a contributing factor? Don’t pry, but if they’re willing to share you’ll often learn there’s something else at the root of workplace problems. Offer support like a confidential conversation with HR and give them the contact information for your employee assistance plan (EAP).
Cultivate an Open Culture
Teams that share fun times and connect outside of the daily grind experience less conflict. This is because colleagues who know each other better have a greater understanding of what makes each other tick. And while enjoying office icebreakers, coffee chats, or no agenda Zoom meetings may not come naturally to everyone, that’s all the more reason to host them. Getting outside of our comfort zones enables us to better deal with transitions and change, which is key to healthy conflict resolution.
Steps To Mediating A Workplace Conflict
Now that we’ve established the basic tenets of conflict mediation, how do you resolve the conflict? Below, we break down the steps you should take to help your employees resolve any disputes in a work environment.
- Sit the conflicting parties down together. Allow each person to quickly discuss their point of view without the other interrupting or commenting. This conversation will establish a foundation for all parties to clarify their disagreement and share opposing opinions. If either of the employees attacks the other, make sure to intervene, as this is not acceptable behavior.
- Have each participant list specific actions they’d like to see the other person take to resolve the differences. Three or four suggestions each is an excellent place to start. Consider this example: “I’d like Henry to send the report to me by Wednesday at 2 p.m. at the latest from now on, so I can finish my assignment by Friday at noon.” Another example: “I would like to take care of all of the business development and follow-up with that client.”
- Evaluate the situation. In some instances such as the second example we just described you, as the manager, may shoulder some responsibility for helping the employees deal with their conflict. Always think about this crucial question: Exactly what about the work situation isn’t working and how can you set the team up for success?
How To Mediate A Conflict Toward Resolution
After having the conflicting parties clearly state their issues, here are the primary stages of resolving the conflict.
Continue The Meeting
If the situation calls for further exploration, try a process outlined by respected consultant and bestselling author Stephen Covey in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” This process involves asking each person in the conflict resolution to pinpoint what the other can do less of, do more of, start doing, and stop doing. All participants commit to changing the things necessary to resolve the problem. Some commitments might include:
- Commit to treating one another with respect and dignity
- Commit to recognizing the changes the other person has made, no matter how minute.
It’s perfectly normal to have reasonable disagreements over plans and problems, but it is never appropriate to have ongoing personality clashes that impact the workplace.
Finishing The Meeting
Make sure everyone understands that you are not choosing sides. Nobody outside of the conflict can ever know with certainty the whole truth of the situation. As a manager, you expect the individuals to handle any conflicts that happen proactively like adults should. If they refuse to do so, you may be forced to take additional steps. Lastly, let both parties know that you truly believe in their ability to deal with their differences and keep contributing successfully. Set a date in the near future to review progress.
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Although mediating a conflict can be difficult, the role of mediator is an important part of being a supervisor or manager. As a leader, your willingness to appropriately mediate situations and proactively intervene lays the foundation for your success.
Reverb is a Seattle-based consulting company dedicated to offering flexible, stage-appropriate consulting services to help companies develop and grow. We would love to talk about building a healthy, inclusive culture in your workplace today. Contact us here.
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